2021-Update
I originally created this post 3 years ago right after my Mama’s stem cell transplant. It is still one of the most bittersweet times for me, because my Mama loved Thanksgiving and this southern dressing recipe. I hope many of you will enjoy it as much as my family does too!
The feelings I wrote a couple of years ago are below and are still accurate. Though many days are easier, not a day goes by that I don’t miss my Mama terribly.
Southern Dressing Recipe For Thanksgiving
Last year I wrote a post when I shared this recipe for southern dressing for Thanksgiving the first time. I can’t bring myself to just “update” that post and delete any of the content like I would normally do. Previously, I shared about my mama’s illness, transplant and recovery. I don’t want to forget any of it. So I am reposting it this year with a completely different post. Because really everything is different
The Bad
It is hard to believe that it has been over 8 months since my mama passed away. If I am being honest, it still doesn’t seem real. I know that everyone says “It gets easier”. And maybe it does, but I am not sure I want it to get easier. Will that mean that I don’t miss her as much? That is a terrifying thought for me.
To be completely transparent, I am so tired of hearing that she is in a better place or that she is happier and would not come back to Earth. The logical and Christian side of me believes that and understands it; but the human side and the daughter side of me that misses her, well, it is sick of hearing it.
Everyone grieves in their own way. And I think that it takes shape and evolves in many different ways throughout the course of the process. At this moment, I am caught in the misery of it all and the anger of it too. There are days that I just want to curl into a ball and sob all day. For a week or so at the beginning of November, I feel like that is what I did. I cried because she did not get to see her little grandkids dressed up for Halloween. I cried because she wasn’t here for Hope’s 16th birthday. Heck, I even cried because I just wanted to vent and she wasn’t there for me to call.
You see, my mama had a way of letting me get everything out of my system and not being judgmental about it. She would not act condescending about things either. Ultimately, she would always give me good advice and make me feel better. She just had a way about her. And she always knew exactly what to do and say.
The Ugly
And then there are days that I would like to throw a hissy fit and break some things. I am well aware that my mama would not want me to feel that way, but I can’t seem to help it. On some level, I feel like I shouldn’t say this, but I am so mad. Everyone tells you the “socially acceptable” things to say about grief, but I don’t really wanna hear them right now.
I don’t particularly want to celebrate Thanksgiving and I especially don’t want to celebrate Christmas. If one more person tells me “Your mama would want you to be happy and enjoy the holidays”, I think I might scream. Mama probably would want me to be happy, but I also think that she would understand the way I am feeling too. I am sure it is part of the process, but I am just flat out angry. It is not a secret that I am not the only person to experience loss or grief. It sounds super selfish of me to even be writing all of these feelings. But, I can’t really change the way I feel at the moment.
The Good-Thanksgiving Traditions
A year ago, I filmed this YouTube video because I wanted to document how my mama made her southern dressing or Thanksgiving. I begged her to be in the video with me and help me make it, but she was camera shy. She was on sidelines and watched me, while interjecting comments out of earshot of the camera. I really wish that she would gotten in the video. But I will be forever grateful that I have her recipe documented.
I had planned in January or February to redo this video this Thanksgiving. It was my first YouTube, I was nervous and fumbled around a lot, but I don’t think I can ever re-film this one, because it is too personal and I love that Mama is here with me, even if you can’t see it. I hope you watch it and make her dressing this Thanksgiving like me.
I am so thankful for each of you that take the time to stop by my blog and read it. Additionally, I know that I am struggling right now and I really do appreciate each and every one of your prayers and kind words. I know this post is more brutally honest that some I have written in the past, but I try to be real with you. I am walking through this journey and just sharing my heart, even if it seems bad and ugly at times.
Mama’s Southern Dressing Recipe
- A pone of cornbread, staled for a day or two
- 4-5 leftover biscuits, staled for a day or two
- 3-4 pieces of stale loaf bread
- Pepperidge Farm Cornbread Dressing Mix (One 14 oz bag)
- 1/2 lb high quality breakfast sausage (I buy mine here)
- 1 1/2 cups of water
- 1/2-3/4 stick of butter
- 1/4-1/2 cup of onion, chopped (put as much or as little as you personally like)
- 1/4-1/2 cup of celery, chopped (put as much or as little as you personally like)
- 2 hard boiled eggs, chopped
- 2 eggs
- 1 32 oz carton of Swanson Chicken Broth (or you can make your own broth)
- Poultry Seasoning (to taste)
- Salt and Pepper (to taste)
Instructions:
Well I surely miss Sandy! She was one of the best cooks I’ve ever known! I know all of these firsts are going to be very difficult for all of you and for that I’m praying for comfort . {hugs & more hugs}
Thank you, Sandy. She was a fabulous cook And yes, very difficult. But I appreciate all the prayers and hugs. 🙂
Feel all the emotions and don’t apologize. We all walk the grief path in our own way. What’s important is that we love and support whatever that looks like for each other. Praying for you❤️
Thank you so much, Cindi. You are always so kind. XO, Laura
I really can’t imagine what you are going through or feeling during this time.
I think the loss of one of your parents is very difficult and you are allowed to feel and say whatever you need to.
You have lots of wonderful memories of your mom, and I hope that helps you to get through the holidays and everyday without your Mama.
Prayers & Hugs to you Laura! ?
Thank you, Amy. It has been so difficult for me, but I am so grateful for everyone’s prayers and kindness.
No doubt about her cooking. What precious memories. My thoughts goes. Back to the song “If I Could Only Hear My Mother (Best Friend) Pray Again”. Wow! If I could just talk to her again. How I miss her! ??
Everyone grieves in different ways! If this is part of your grieving process, go for it.
Laura, just eat that dressing and think of how wonderful it was that you had a mom that taught you to be the cook you are today!
Love ya! ??
Thank you for all of your kindness and support. I know that we have both had a hard time and grieved so much together. I was blessed with one great mama, for sure. Love you too!
I’m feeling all of this. I’m always here for you the best I can be. I miss Gma more than I can say. I remember editing this and seeing all the pictures of you two. Apparently there’s a place in Downtown that’s let’s you Pat to break stuff maybe we can go sometime. ? jk love you. See you Thursday.
Haha! I am not sure breaking things will help, but it can’t hurt. Love you too!
I know exactly how you feel and understand all the emotions you are going through, its been six months since my Dad passed away and even though he wasn’t my biological dad. He raised me since I was 4 so he is my dad. You can’t judge someone on how long it takes you to grieve for someone you lived your whole life. We all have to grieve in our r own way. I’m not looking forward to the holidays this year and am trying my best to make it through even though I’m falling apart inside. People have no compassion for my dad passing away. They just act like its nothing and that is very hurtful. My heart breaks for you because I know the pain. Its something you never get over but you will never forget your mom or her memories. She will always be in your heart.i wish she were here with you. I cry every day. My real dad, I have to look in the obituaries weekly to see if he has passed away because my sister will not give me any information. My 73 year old best friend passed away several years ago and I miss her everyday. You grieve in your own way for how ever long it takes for you and don’t worry about other people. Your are always in my thoughts and prayers. Love you so much ?❤
Oh Susie, my heart breaks for you too. I don’t understand why some people have no compassion. I understand that a step parent can be just like a real parent. I raised my step daughter from the age of 4 too, so I understand that unique bond very well. I will continue to pray for you to get comfort. And I will pray that your sister will have a change of heart as well. I love you too and am so blessed to know you and have you as a friend.